if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
