I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
