just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
