my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I'm always down for nudity.
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