can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
