hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
