first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
