You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
