Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
