I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
