Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You ate ashes out of my bong
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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