girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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