Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
