we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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