I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize