he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
