Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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