she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
