At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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