we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
