But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
