Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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