walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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