Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
