I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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