So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
