What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
