all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
