True but thats because hes a fetus.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i came on her dog
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
