a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
