god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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