Who did Billy Mays play for?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
