is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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