glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
