If that was your dad, he is hot
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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