I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
