what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
