I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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