It's Friday. Sex?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Randomize