You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
