Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
