if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I AM VODKA MAN
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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