Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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