I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
there's paper in my vomit.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
