I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
