Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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