just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
