so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
