would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
