He kissed a someone with a penis
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Randomize
