My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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