I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
