God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
