I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
lets start a swedish sibling band together
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
