I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
