You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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